Biblical Divorce Pt. 1

Old Testament History

It is no surprise that divorce rates are discouraging in America. The Pew Research Center reported that nearly 41% of all first marriages end in divorce and 60% of second marriages end in divorce. While the number of divorces per year has decreased since the all-time high (the early 1980s, when “No-Fault Divorce” became the national standard), it must be acknowledged that the marriage rate is also decreasing. The logic goes something like this: “If so many marriages end in a nasty divorce, why even get married?”

Christians are not immune to the effects of a broken marriage. Many would be hard-pressed to claim they have not been affected by a divorce within their family.

Reasons for divorce are not always for trivial matters, though. There are some nasty people who do awful things to their spouses. What is the Bible’s response to marital abuse—physical, emotional, or verbal? What protection does God’s Word provide to those in extremely challenging marriages?

As we begin, we need to establish God’s intention for every marriage. What is God’s ideal?

We need to go back to the first marriage: Adam and Eve. God created Adam to tend the garden but acknowledged that it was not good for man to be alone. So God, in a miraculous event, took one of Adam’s ribs in a divine surgery (this gives new meaning to the description “The Great Physician”) and formed Eve, a woman, to be his wife. When Adam awoke, he was amazed and broke out into poetry (Gen. 2:23).

Moses recorded God’s instruction for this couple:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24)

God’s design for marriage was between a man and a woman, desiring to serve God together, to be a lifelong physical union that produced children, furthered the dominion mandate, and ultimately brought glory to the Creator. The establishment of marriage was a pre-fall creation, meaning that its expectations extend to all humanity, not necessarily just believers.

However, one need only continue reading into Genesis 3 to appreciate that sin quickly ruined everything—even the marriage union. No longer were man and woman united in perfection; they brought sin and selfishness, as well as inordinate desires, into their marriage. Sin corrupts and destroys, and marriages have paid the price.

Generations later, Moses provided the children of Israel with a “Certificate of Divorce.” What we assume was happening is that men (the only ones who could initiate a divorce) were divorcing their wives for any number of reasons, leaving them destitute and unclean. It was a time when women were viewed as little more than property, and if a husband cast his wife aside because he preferred someone else or blamed her for something, she was in a very scary and dangerous position in society. Moses, in an attempt to protect these defenseless women, required the divorcing husband to present his wife with this certificate of divorce that not only protected her reputation but also required that she receive a certain amount of financial provision. He also forbade a divorcing husband from ever “remarrying” his divorced wife. The idea was that if it was bad enough to divorce, it would be bad enough not to remarry. (Deut. 24:1-4)

All this history brings us to the New Testament. There are two primary passages that discuss divorce. Each passage identifies a different reason for divorce. We call them “biblical divorces.” What that means is that God does not count these divorces as sin for a Christian who goes through them. While divorce is not required in either passage, the Christian is freed from any sense of guilt or sin. The issue—I’ll acknowledge it here—is that many Christians find these two passages not enough. There are countless sinful circumstances that can bring both emotional and even physical harm that the Bible does not specifically acknowledge as a “biblical divorce.” Some scholars have tried to argue, either by logic or exposition, that there are really more categories than the two explicit ones; however, those arguments are extremely thin.

However, God does care about suffering and hurt. He cares so much that He sent Jesus to pay sin’s penalty and provide eternal salvation for all who believe. He has also provided protection for a believing spouse enduring a terrible marriage. Though I will return to this later, I will introduce it here: God’s means of protection for a Christian in a terrible situation that does not constitute a biblical divorce is church membership and church discipline. We will come back to this later.

Biblical Divorce Reason #1 – Porneia

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matt. 19:3–9)

There is a lot in that passage that needs attention. Succinctly, the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus in an ongoing controversy of that time. There were two very prominent Jewish teachers who understood biblical divorce very differently. Rabbi Shammai taught that divorce could only occur because of adultery—this was very strict. Rabbi Hillel taught that biblical divorce could come for any number of reasons, including a wife burning her husband’s dinner (seriously!). These two teachers had garnered a large following, and the Pharisees wanted Jesus to choose a side. They asked, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” Though Jesus would give an answer, He brought them back to the Genesis passage we already discussed and reminded them that God created marriage and intended it to last a lifetime. They challenged Him by bringing up Moses’ certificate of divorce. Jesus responded that because of their hardness of heart (e.g., throwing their wives out for no good reason), Moses provided the certificate as a form of protection—but it was not so from the beginning of God’s plan.

Jesus answered, “I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Jesus provided His one reason as “sexual immorality.” This was His only exception for divorce. Well, the natural question is, “What constitutes sexual immorality?” The Greek word is porneia and is best understood as active sexual sin committed with another person who is not one’s spouse. Is this not adultery? Well, adultery carries the idea that both sinning parties are married. Jesus broadened that requirement to include one married spouse and anyone else with whom they engaged in active sexual sin.

This is not a fun topic, I’ll admit, but it is an important one. What was Jesus’ inference? Any other reason for divorce is not valid and constitutes an unbiblical divorce.

His audience would have heard Jesus aligning with Rabbi Shammai, the stricter teacher, but Jesus’ actual category was a bit broader.

In this first passage, Jesus explained that the only biblical divorce could come after a sinning spouse engaged in active sexual sin with another person. Again, He did not say that divorce must follow that sin, but if a victimized spouse chose to divorce their spouse, they would not be sinning.

Conclusion

You probably have a lot of questions or even a lot of “but what about...” comments. This is just Part 1. However, Jesus clearly elevates the value and importance of marriage for everyone. Marriage is not something to jump into lightly or unadvised. It is a solemn commitment before God that you will cherish, serve, and dedicate yourself to your spouse for your entire life.

The Jewish people had created a system of “No-Fault Divorce,” much like our modern American society, and Jesus defied that system to its face.

There is much discussion about everything that can be included in porneia (sexual immorality). However, I understand it to mean active sexual sin (not just digital or verbal) with another person who is not one’s spouse.

We will return next week with the other biblical passage and second category, but for now, recognize that God cherishes marriage, and we must seek to serve our spouses in true biblical love—for their spiritual good and the glory of God!