Biblical Friendship

Do you have a best friend who is always dependable and can be trusted with any detail in your life?  Maybe your friendship is strong because of the years or the difficulties you have been through together. Maybe you’ve had someone you thought was a good friend who really hurt you. What does it mean to be a true biblical friend? Let’s look at five qualities from Scripture:

A true biblical friend supports another through difficulty.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Prov. 17:17) Unless you are incredibly unique, we are not naturally open with others about our personal/ families struggles. It doesn’t have to be a pride issue, though that can compound things, but privacy is a normal default setting. A true friend has earned the privilege to receive and respond to another’s struggles. Solomon emphasized the idea that a “brother” views it as his God-given task to support his friend through difficulty. 

A true biblical friend is committed.

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24) There is nothing more discouraging than accompanying a friend to an event and the second someone more important comes into the room, your “friend” abandons you. Someone who is completely divided in his loyalty (yes, even his loyalty to his friends) is destined for “ruin.” A true friend isn’t content to be a convenient neighbor. His friendship is built on true love, not convenience. 

A true biblical friend is honest.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” (Prov. 27:6) The quickest way to fail is to surround yourself with “yes-men” who always stoke your sense of self-worth. They praise you in public, but privately only want to use you. They are your enemies. However, a well-timed word (yes, even a painfully honest word) demonstrates a friends genuineness. We need faithful and honest friends who will at times make a painful incision with their honesty, but for the purpose of healing and growth. Are you an honest person? Can your friends trust you to tell them the truth even when it is difficult? Be that faithful friend who will lovingly wound so that another may thrive. 

A true friend biblical sharpens.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Prov. 27:17) I read recently that pikes, spears, and bayonets were some of the most popular weapons of choice during the Civil War. Despite the power of rifles, pistols, and canons, the consistency and reliability of a sharp blade proved very desirable. However, a dulled or cracked blade would be worse than useless. It sounds good to be the one who “sharpens” a friend. But can I be honest and let you know that the act of “sharpening” is not usually pleasant. It can be uncomfortable, awkward, and painful, but a true biblical friend is committed another’s growth, regardless of how uncomfortable that growth can be. Those sharpening “sparks” can look like a pointed question, a necessary challenge, or a humble accusation. The goal is Christlikeness and because sin’s presence is constant, a friend must be committed to another’s sanctified sharpening. 

A true biblical friend sacrifices.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) The ultimate demonstration of sacrifice would require one life to end for the sake of another, but the more common form of sacrifice can look like the sacrifice of time, energy, and resources. Have you sacrificed your time, energy, or resources for the sake of a friend recently? Have you paid for a meal, engaged in a thankless act, or committed an amount of precious time in deep conversation? The old adage reads, “Talk is cheap.” In part that is true. But, if that talk is part of self-sacrificial service, then talk is extremely valuable!  

People are naturally selfish, and we look out for our own interests as a default setting. However, we have been granted an example and an escape from our selfishness and sin because of the person and work of Jesus Christ. He demonstrated the ultimate expression of friendship to depraved people through His sacrifice on the cross. However, His sacrifice was much more than just an example of what we should do. It was a means of escape for us so that we can do what we should do. The Apostle Paul summarized it perfectly “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:6-8) 

What love! What sacrifice! What friendship! What a Savior! May we reflect Him in our friendships today. 

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